In Seattle a minor annoyance over Bahn Mi sandwiches they were the only thing I wanted for breakfast every day turned into relationship negotiations. Just do your best to take care of each other. The circumstances of life make what had once seemed so easy, so perfect, suddenly impossible. I flew to Spokane Washington where Alex was living for six months while working on a TV show to tell him that I had met somebody. In Spokane Washington, on my birthday, we had an eight-hour fight that got so bad Jon ended up booking a separate hotel room. But as my father likes to remind me, nothing is. Everything was heightened and out of perspective.
The decision to introduce Jon to our friends and family at our wedding seemed like a pragmatic choice. How did we make this work? We were proud of him. East Coast and West Coast merging. We were sharing our new love, Jon, with each other. Carving out time to be alone. A night Alex drove Jon and me through Terminal Island, the industrial lights igniting fires in the sky around us, creating a matrix of magic and wonder and beauty. Eventually I began to see this not just as one relationship but as four completely whole and separate relationships: Everyone would be in one place at the same time. It was especially hard on Alex. We wanted to show him off. People we love get sick. I was like a crazy person: He was just supposed to be a hook up, some random hot dude, just another adventure. And then we were making plans to watch movies and eat pizza. I learned that love is not limited: But then Jon came back again, and again and again. Alex is like me: In Spokane Washington, on my birthday, we had an eight-hour fight that got so bad Jon ended up booking a separate hotel room. Being with one partner is hard enough. Jobs and goals and the gym, paying the bills: My best friend Amy flew with her family from New York City to officiate. Just do your best to take care of each other. I even made it to the elevator, where I hesitated for five minutes waiting for someone to come and get me. The three of us eating donuts at two am while watching Strangers With Candy. None of us knew how it would go. Underestimate what is happening until it is over, and we are left thinking:
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